Some final words?

A new poem...I am amazed...believe me I am. But I did it...and I dont think it's half bad...and I understand it...even if no one else will!

may i have some final words? no.

what if it all means something?
i doubt that even that would mean a thing.

are we all so hopeless? no.

i have felt so many kisses
that after awhile they started to feel
like tears of joy:
nice but so unneeded and useless.
being unemotional always ends up being emotional.
what a waste of my [un]precious time.

some things aren’t certain? no.
nothing is certain? no.
all things are certain? no.
are we certain? no.
is this certain? no.
BUT ARE YOU CERTAIN? certainly.
i remember when certainty was comforting
instead of suffocating.

this decision
could be the death of me
[or of you if the person i’m thinking of
has anything to say about
this matter…]
OH PLEASE!
don’t tell me that it doesn’t matter.

set me free from this
before i do.
fuck this phase…
why not? no.
why not? no.
you have ALREADY fucked
up everything else.
including this
now let it
GO!
…no.
then I will.
…no!

what is it all means something?
sometimes i pray to God that that’s not true…

hypocrisy at it’s greatest? no.


so you hate loving me? no.
admit it…and add another regret
to the long list that you keep.
another secret to hide from…
you know who
i’m talking about.

you’re not listening again!
i hate you and i love you
sound the same to your ears.
it’s sad that in this place i’m in
screaming i hate you
is so much more satisfying than
whispering i love you.

I HATE YOU!
but oh, how i love you!
you never did leave me satisfied.

and all of them
they seem to feel the need to say that
i’m wonderful.
wonder fills me.
i am full of wonder.
i am wonder full.
but i will never be
wonderful.
because you…
you’re wonderful.
and i am NOTHING like you.

and all you have for me
are blank stares
and a voice that tells me
i am nothing special to you..
i dare you…
make me cry…
make me CARE!

do you cry? no.
do you care? no.
do you hurt? no.
will it hurt? no.
why don’t you set me free? i am wonderful.
i remember when saying i love you was a compliment
instead of an insult.

what if it all means something?
an endless abyss of meaning…

is no one else afraid? no.

i’m contagious.
that’s why we had to be
sep-a-rate-ed.
it’s the only logical explanation
except for…there are two wooden boxes there.

should i take you with me? no.
do you want to come with me? no.
will you come with me? no.
can you come with me? no.
WHY CANT WE BE TOGETHER? you are contagious.
i remember when being right made me proud
instead of making me want to hurt…something.

NO!

there are two wooden boxes
there.
it’s not that far
it’s not that far
it’s not that far

it’s just not close.
closer…
closer…
closer…

even as this box is sealed with nails

i love you.

and just for the record:
i do think i can tell
heaven from hell…
all i need to do is
take a GOD DAMN
look around!
I WISH YOU WERE HERE.

how i wish you were here.